My First Pregnancy Meltdown – Go big or Go home

So its happened…I thought I was sailing through this pregnancy with nothing more then a few tired cranky spells, but nothing in the range of a full blown meltdown…I was wrong…as I enter week 31….I made up for my previous 30….

The day started out fantastic, I woke in a fabulous mood, posted a few inspiration Monday messages to my girlfriends..the snow was melted the ground was clear allowing me to take the wardrobe up a notch and throw on some fabulous knee high boots…with a heel…and I decided to work at my office away from my office…Starbucks…As I worked away at a few new projects I was able to have one of my Besties , Jenn, join me her lunch break…all in all a great day…stayed until I had to pick up my daughter ventured home and decided to make a fabulous dinner for my family…something between Paleo and Wheat Bellys…this is pretty much where it falls apart…

I should give you a little background on myself…I am NOT Domestic…I try hard and its a struggle everyday…yes my house is spotless and the laundry is always done, but I do not come by that naturally…As an Aquarian Sign I begin to feel caged if someone tries to domesticate me…and I generally rebel against the process…but I am trying very hard to overcome this equation in my head that Domestic=Defeat

 

So I go ahead and start dinner , There has been moments in the past when I expect a thank you after dinner and its been responded with…”well come on it wasn’t difficult..it was from a box”…which generally makes me not do anything around the house the next day…a response which may have previously gone unnoticed until he reads this blog…however last night was going to be different… because everything was from scratch…I make a fabulous Meatloaf with a bunch of side fixings, timed everything perfect to be plated at the same time…call everyone to my nicely set table and serve the meal…..wait for it…My Fiance’s discovery…the Meatloaf is NOT cooked all the way through….my meltdown moment begins…

 

In front of my teenage daughter and fiance I proceed to start swearing AND the Tears begin…

I’m generally a very posed and held together woman…that rock and solid foundation for people to come to when there is an issue…however last night I was reduced to tears… by my meatloaf…

 

 

 

It’s all very funny right now as I laugh in my head while writing this…however in the moment it was as if my whole world just bottomed out…and it did not help that my fiance did not realize this was a pregnancy hormonal breakdown, just saw it as a crazy woman yelling at him (for the record I was not yelling at him) I was just yelling, and crying and thoroughly upset with myself that I RUINED dinner….now basically they just had to eat the vegetables and the meatloaf went back into the oven for 12 minutes…but you know it didn’t taste the same in my head…you know I felt it was dried out because it was sliced when it went back in …you know…I was out of my mind…So I sat and ate my vegetables and later meatloaf with my mascara steaming down my face (Like an idiot really and looking like a cross between a raccoon and the Joker) and with my fiance continually asking me “What is wrong with you???”…not helping by the way honey… because I couldn’t control it..someone else had invaded my body…and I am not referring to the small person I am growing inside me…

I later in the evening apologized to my daughter and explained my hormonal changes from pregnancy, she didn’t seem too phased and said I didn’t upset her and that I didn’t ruin dinner (which made me feel a little bit worse that she was so nice about it) … my fiance stayed downstairs for the rest of the evening while I spent the evening working on my website and eventually pouring a hot bubblebath…later I crawled into bed and put on my sounds of nature playlist to decompress and try to relax…I woke this morning and have a clearer picture of last night and yes its funny now…

 

But there are lessons to be learned from my Pregnancy Meltdown:

1) The recipe was wrong – add 12 minutes ( …as if I’ll ever make it again)

2) If I have a meltdown try to avoid the “F” word in front of everyone…once that’s out there things go down hill and its very unbecoming of a lady

3) Mascara : for the rest of my pregnancy I should put the d.j.v. Beautenizer Fiber Wig mascara away and stick to my Stila stay all day Waterproof Mascara… because raccoon is not a good look for me and who knows when this will happen again…

4) Don’t put a face mask on after a good cry…it hurts like hell and burns the skin…

5) don’t listen to my Nature sounds playlist during the night that contains the sounds of The Rain Forest,  The Ocean or Thunderstorms…man I must have had to get up to the bathroom 3 times…

6) Bring home McDonald’s breakfast the next morning so everyone forgets the crazy lady the first time they see you in the morning…

I know I’m not perfect, I am not a natural domestic, I am genuinely trying to improve those area’s however I just hope that if I have another one of those episodes that little voice in the back of my head saying ” hello why are you crying over meatloaf” will have the sense to say ” WARNING WARNING…Leave the room psycho approaching in t-minus 10 seconds”….

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